


shoot, for I am already...

by SamPristine



Category: Psycho-Pass
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Feelings, Fix-It, Gino needs a breather, Hospitals, Kaisei is scary, Kissing, Kou needs to stop provoking the Chief, M/M, Paralyzer Mode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25364194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamPristine/pseuds/SamPristine
Summary: In their quest to stop Makishima Shougo, Inspector Ginoza tries and fails to set Kougami free from Chief Kaisei's close surveillance.However, they could never imagine the Chief would go so far as to force Ginoza's hand and order him to kill him to prove his worth.As Kougami wakes up in the infirmary after Inspector Tsunemori manages to salvage the situation, he finds out he has an unexpected visitor.
Relationships: Ginoza Nobuchika/Kougami Shinya
Comments: 8
Kudos: 37





	shoot, for I am already...

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> Sam here, posting a very brief fix-it story.  
> We never got to see Gino's or Kou's reaction after Chief Kaisei all but low-key orders Gino to murder Kou to prevent him from hunting Makishima down. There is no way they didn't need a kind of conversation to process it.
> 
> At this point in time, Ginoza is pretty much exhausted physically and emotionally, so I believe he would be much more prone to talk about everything he had been bottling up and all he had been feeling. 
> 
> Anyhow, these handsome boys deserve a break and to be happy. 
> 
> I love drawing and I made a little drawing to accompany this piece. You will find it at the end.

Kougami knew he had been shot with a Dominator as soon as he felt the echo of the electricity course through his muscles. Who had it been this time? Tsunemori again? Or….

_Gino!_

When the images of what had transpired in the parking lot flashed through his mind, Kougami opened his eyes, gasping. His heart beat hard in his chest and a bitter taste stuck to his tongue. He stared at the ceiling of the small hospital room for a moment before the presence of someone else in the room alerted him. 

“Kou, you’ve woken up.” Ginoza whispered, barely disrupting the quiet in the room. He stood up from the seemingly uncomfortable chair next to where Kougami was lying and gracefully sat on the bed, his backside touching Kougami’s thigh. 

“How are you feeling?” Ginoza asked, studying Kougami’s face. 

“Mmm, cool as a cucumber, can’t you see?” Kougami grimaced jokingly, raising his thumb in Ginoza’s general direction. Ginoza offered him the smallest of smiles. 

Kougami scanned the room again, as if looking for something or someone, and Ginoza knew exactly who that someone was. He also knew he was the last person Kougami was expecting to be here, and that he was probably panicking inside wondering if Tsunemori was being disciplined by the chief.

“Gino….mmm, where is….?”

“Tsunemori? She’s alright.” Ginoza completed, his voice tingled with a jealousy he did not have the strength to hide anymore. He averted his eyes and said, “She shouldn’t be gone much longer. She offered to take my Dominator to be revised.”

“She did? Why didn’t you go?” 

Ginoza blushed minutely and wringed his fingers before mumbling, “I...might have lost consciousness in the elevator when we were bringing you here... I was in the next room until a few minutes ago.” 

Kougami blinked and then really observed his best friend, taking in all the details. Ginoza was missing his necktie and suit jacket, which was a very rare sight in itself. The first buttons of his shirt were also undone and his glasses were nowhere to be seen. His face was paler than usual and there were deep, dark circles under his green eyes. 

“What? Are you okay? Why…?” Kougami asked worriedly, scooting closer and brushing some bangs from Ginoza’s forehead, as if looking for any injury the doctors might have missed. Ginoza took both of his hands and squeezed them gently. Kougami could notice they were freezing. 

“I’m alright, Kou. It was just that my blood pressure got too low after… after I, …” Ginoza’s voice faded and he lowered his head, then his shoulders tensed so much Kougami thought they would snap. 

“Hey, Gino. It’s alright.” Kou started, reaching for one of Ginoza’s hands. 

However, Ginoza swiftly retreated both and loosely set his arms around himself. “Kou, I need to tell you something. I need to do it, before I start thinking too much. Will you listen to me?” Ginoza requested in a hushed timid voice, hands trembling slightly. Kougami nodded a couple of times and softened his expression so Ginoza hopefully felt more at ease. 

Ginoza’s shoulders sagged minutely in relaxation before he took in a deep breath and then released a long sigh. He licked his dry lips and looked straight into Kougami’s eyes, who flinched a little at the intensity. 

“I’m really sorry, Kou. I shouldn’t have put you at risk with such a stupid plan. I felt that I could pull it off, that the chief would not notice what I was doing and that you would help us find Makishima. Gods, if Tsunemori hadn’t reacted…! Kou, if I had known what Kaisei is capable of….” Ginoza’s voice wavered and then he sniffed wetly. His eyes were brimming with unshed tears and Kougami felt the strongest urge to hug him and kiss those tears away. So he inched towards him, but Ginoza raised a hand. “I’m almost done, just give me one second”. 

Lowering his head, Ginoza blinked his tears away and hastily rubbed his face. He took in a couple of shaky breaths and then went on without looking at Kougami this time. 

“But I’m sorry not just for pointing you with the Dominator. I’m also sorry for ever doubting you, or Sasayama for that matter. I wish I could also apologize to him….” he smiled sourly, and Kougami could not help reaching slowly for his upper arm and squeezing in silent understanding. 

“Now Makishima has managed to hurt and kill so many people! And mostly, it’s my fault. I did such a poor job as lead Inspector and now the city is thrown into chaos, Kagari is probably dead and the chief, she…. When her cold hand touched mine and the Dominator started switching to Decomposer mode, ….the very thought of pulling the trigger and killing you….still makes me sick and….” Ginoza’s body shook, the force of everything he was feeling threatening to overwhelm him. Tears sprung from his eyes and he stubbornly cleaned them with his sleeve only for more to keep falling. 

Kougami had remained quiet so far so Ginoza could vent, but seeing him break like that in front of his eyes became too much. Very gently, he grabbed Ginoza’s wrist and lowered his hand from his face. Ginoza looked at him sobbing, but did not remove his arm. 

“Gino, it’s okay. None of this is your fault, okay? I don’t want to hear you saying that ever again. Makishima is just a miserable excuse of a human being and he has to be stopped. He has to pay for all the lives he has taken, for all the damage he has done, but I refuse to lose you in the process. So, please trust me when I say this, I know you had no intention to kill me. But if you had had to, I wouldn’t have held it against you. I’m already dead in so many ways anyway and you have a bright future at the Bureau.” 

Ginoza gasped as if Kougami had punched him in the gut. “How can you say that?! I’d never....as if I could ever….!” 

Praying Ginoza would not push him away, Kougami used his index finger to lift his chin. “Gino, I know.” He said softly, caressing Ginoza’s lower lip with his thumb. 

Ginoza sniffed and scoffed. “Then why would you say such idiotic things?” 

“Because it’s true. I’ll try not to give you any motives, but I want you to shoot me if it is necessary! Paralyzer, Decomposer, a crossbow or a boomerang, I don’t give a damn. I don’t want you to put yourself at risk under any circumstances, okay? You’re always worrying about everyone else, why don’t you put yourself first for a change?”

“Not killing you is probably an excellent way of caring about myself, i-idiot!” Ginoza shot back, occasionally hiccuping still. “And I was the one that thought about that stupid plan. I even put Aoyanagi and Tsunemori in danger. I was such an idiot.” 

“Gino, it was a good plan. I gotta say you surprised me, rebelling all of a sudden!” Kougami teased, kissing Ginoza’s knuckles. 

Ginoza’s eyes went wide. Kougami had not kissed his knuckles in such a way since they were both Inspectors. The thought made the possibility of Kougami dying by his hand even more unbearable. His eyes watered again and he could not stop the tears from falling anew. 

“I’m still sorry, Kou! I’m sorry!” Ginoza lamented, closing his eyes and finally letting all the remaining tension to wash away with body wracking sobs. Kougami was not dead. He was there with him. They were still in the fight. 

Kougami took Ginoza’s face in both of his hands and began peppering little kisses on every inch of his pale and teary face he could reach while Ginoza continued with his mantra. _I’m sorry, Kou. I’m so glad you’re okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry._

“I know, Gino. Stop apologizing. It’s okay, we’re gonna be okay.” Kougami repeated over and over, threading his fingers through Ginoza’s long bangs with one hand and rubbing Ginoza’s back in wide, soothing circles with the other. Slowly but steadily, Kougami managed to lower them until Ginoza was half lying over him, head on his chest. 

Once Ginoza’s sobs stopped almost completely, he raised his head and looked into Kougami’s eyes. Kougami smiled at him, caressing his cheek. 

“What is it?” Kougami asked, smiling. Something in the peace he found in those green eyes made his stomach flip with joy. If only he could bury Ginoza inside his chest and protect him so his eyes could keep that serenity forever...

Ginoza shook his head briefly before smiling himself and closing the gap between them. He kissed Kougami slowly and sweetly, with longing but also with gratitude. He was so worried Kougami had come to hate him, and he only received understanding and a firm chest to cry on. 

For his part, Kougami gasped, taken completely by surprise then kissed him back wholeheartedly. He felt a shudder go down his spine and he sighed happily into Ginoza’s lips. He had been both resigned and terrified that Gino had to kill him so the hunt for Makishima could keep going. Now that Tsunemori had managed to blow all that over, he had even got to hold his dear Gino again. 

The kiss that began sweet and innocent quickly turned heated as Kougami used his tongue skillfully to coax Ginoza’s mouth open. Their tongues slid against each other wetly, tearing a moan from both men. 

Ginoza then shifted until he was straddling Kougami and twisted his hands into his unruly hair. Kougami growled appreciatively and moved his hand to rub Ginoza’s nape, a place he knew from experience was highly sensitive. 

“Kou…” Ginoza sighed against Kougami’s lips, before delving again open-mouthed, while Kougami’s other hand snaked towards Ginoza’s narrow waist. 

“Ehem…” Shion cleared her throat noisily as she entered the room. Ginoza sat back strikingly fast and pushed Kougami’s face further into the pillow with his hand. 

“Ka-karanomori!” Ginoza stammered, scrambling to get off Kougami’s lap and still threatening to smother him with his hand. 

“Ara, ara...and here I was wondering where our little Gino-kun had wandered off! You forgot your vitamins!” Shion said, smirking. She threw the bottle towards Ginoza, who caught it one-handedly. 

“Th-thank you…” Ginoza said. 

“If I had known you were getting some vitamin Kiss from Kou-chan, I would not have bothered!” she said, earning an indignant squawk from Ginoza and a chuckle from Kougami. Shion turned around on her heels and opted to flee the room as soon as she noticed Ginoza’s blush was reaching his neck. In Gino-language that meant he was dangerously embarrassed, and he would lose it soon. 

“Vi-vitamin Kiss?! Hey, show me some respect, Karanomori!” Ginoza demanded, and even as the door closed behind her, Shion could listen to him threatening Kougami. “And you stop laughing already or I _will_ smother you!” 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to follow me @sampristine on Tumblr to see more doodles. :)


End file.
